Don't Encourage Your Children To Play 'I Spy'

Below is an excerpt from my book: "Seven Successful Strategies For Divorced Parents." Having worked as a Parenting Instructor for Michigan State Universities' 'Building Strong Families' program, I was able to assist parents, teachers and caregivers in positive ways to effectively communicate within the family structure.  This excerpt highlights some of the information from the chapter entitled: "Simple Solutions To Finding Common Ground." It refers to the time when parents are in the beginning stages of a possible separation or for parents that are aware that they are soon to be divorced. While couples are fixated on court dates and the splitting up of property as well as the emotional turmoil of the dissolution of a marriage, daily routines may be off schedule or sometimes, forgotten altogether. **This is the second of a 4-Part Excerpt.

• Don't Encourage Your Children To Play 'I Spy' For You: It is natural to be inquisitive about your ex-partner, but it is not fair to ask your children about personal, adult issues in relation to your exes' affairs to satisfy that curiosity. There is noting wrong with casual conversation about how their time with the absent parent has been spent, such as the activities they've enjoyed or events they may have attended together, but questions about whom your Ex is seeing, what that person looks like, and what they're doing should not be addressed with your children. In relation to obtaining information on your exes' new partner, your goal is to ensure your children are treated well and with respect and are not brought into harms way. Beyond that, remind yourself that you are moving on with your life and you're allowing your ex-spouse/partner the freedom to do the same. 

 Should situations exist whereby your child may be dealing with or facing a form of abuse, be sure to take protective & preventative measures that will aid in ensuring the child's safety-before you act. We all have read about or have listened to news stories of how some parents, once being forewarned that measures are being put into place to investigate a matter, harms either themselves, the children, and in many cases, both, in an effort to stave off any interference. Take note if your outgoing, friendly child suddenly becomes withdrawn and quiet. review their different moods and how they react in certain situations. Talk with them often about how they are feeling and be in tune to their body language, as well as what they say and don't say. Because divorce in itself can seem devastating to children, these signs as well as others could simply be indicators that they may need professional assistance of some sort in handling the situation, but they could also be warning signs of some form of abuse taking place in the home or in their environment, in which case outside agencies would be better prepared to assist you in your quest to protect the safety of your children.

Known as the 'From Goal-Setting to Goal GETTING' coach, Sherry Brantley is a Certified Life Coach and Certified Professional Coach specializing in assisting people in reaching their goals. Whether writing books related to personal growth such as 'STEPP-How To Create Positive Change In Your Life,' or her fictional trilogy of work 'Best of Friends,' which garnered National Recognition for 'Best Fiction Of The Year,' Sherry is sure to incorporate thought-provoking ideals and concepts which readers are able to connect to in order to increase their understanding of their own Spiritual growth, determine what they'd like to achieve in life and develop a road-map to get there! 

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