Don't Use Children As 'Pawns' To Get Your Way!

Below is an excerpt from my book: "Seven Successful Strategies For Divorced Parents." Having worked as a Parenting Instructor for Michigan State Universities 'Building Strong Families' program, I was able to assist parents, teachers and caregivers in positive ways to effectively communicate within the family structure.  This excerpt highlights some of the information from the chapter entitled: "Simple Solutions To Finding Common Ground." It refers to the time when parents are in the beginning stages of a possible separation or for parents that are aware that they are soon to be divorced. While couples are fixated on court dates and the splitting up of property as well as the emotional turmoil of the dissolution of a marriage, daily routines may be off schedule or sometimes, forgotten altogether. **This is the third of a 4-Part Excerpt.

• Don't Use Children As 'Pawns' To Get Your Way!   I can't tell you the countless times during my career as a Parenting Instructor, that I have heard all of the 'reasons' why parents use their children as pawns to 'negotiate' with an ex-partner. Your children are your children. Remember that one loving fact before you are tempted to use them as 'negotiation tools' to get your way.  This tactic always backfires in the long run and damages your child's self-esteem and personal growth. Eventually your children will be wise to this tactic and will form a different picture of you in regards to your relationship with them. This tactic is fertile for the seeds of distrust to take root within their psyche and once taken hold, it is a very long and challenging road to undo. Children do not like to be used in a negative manner any more than adults do. They'll resent the parent that uses this tactic and attempting to communicate the 'why' you did it, falls on deaf ears. Negotiation is to be used as a positive technique in other areas of the dissolution of a relationship-minus the children, and not as a way to strong-hold your Ex to do things your way, or to flex your muscles by using your children to meet your desired outcome. Your Ex-partner, your current partner and more importantly, your children, all lose respect for you when these tactics are employed. 

 

Known as the 'From Goal-Setting to Goal GETTING' coach, Sherry Brantley is a Certified Life Coach and Certified Professional Coach specializing in assisting people in reaching their goals. Whether writing books related to personal growth such as 'STEPP-How To Create Positive Change In Your Life,' or her fictional trilogy of work 'Best of Friends,' which garnered National Recognition for 'Best Fiction Of The Year,' Sherry is sure to incorporate thought-provoking ideals and concepts which readers are able to connect to in order to increase their understanding of their own Spiritual growth, determine what they'd like to achieve in life and develop a road-map to get there! 

www.steppbook.com

www.sherrybrantley.com

www.inspirationalvoice.com

S.T.E.P.P:  Start To Exercise Personal Power
'STEPP Up To YOU!